Part of the Team
by Screaming Argonaut
Summary: When Roy's team goes out for drinks after work, no one really pays attention to how the minor feels. Oneshot. T for language.


_Part of the Team_

_Finally, I'm done!_ Edward Elric thought to himself as he slammed his pen to his desk. Mustang called him in several hours ago to assist the team in catching up on their heaps of paperwork. He agreed, albeit begrudgingly, because he had no idea the work would be so heinous. He leaned back in his chair observing his completed pile in content. He chuckled quietly to himself. _I'd bet no other 13 year-old has to do this crap._ He looked about the office and watched his co-workers in various stages of work completion. Hawkeye, Fallman, Havoc, and Breda were done. Fuery was on his last document, and of course Mustang had at least a dozen or so left to do. They all waited patiently for their superior officer to finish so they could go home. They could have gone home once they were done, but sometimes Roy had a surprise for his subordinates afterwards like a steak dinner or tickets to a show.

About ten minutes later, Roy placed the last paper on the 'done' pile and smiled at his crew.

"Well, wasn't that fun? Let's do it again sometime." He grabbed his jacket and walked to the door. All eyes followed him and most of them weren't disappointed. He made the drinking gesture with his thumb and pinky. Havoc, Fuery, Breda, Fallman, and even Hawkeye grabbed their coats and followed Mustang to the bar. None of them noticed that they had just abandoned their youngest coworker. After the door closed, Ed grabbed his own coat and headed out. He knew he wasn't invited to hang out with the adults. They wouldn't want a kid hanging around them as they tried to get their drink on.

All the adults went to their various residences to change. Jean Havoc made his way into his bachelor pad and immediately kicked his heavy boots off. He changed into his favorite club outfit; Black jeans and a tight-fitting black t-shirt. Maybe tonight he would find a hot chick to buy a drink for. The long hours of the day caused the gel in his hair to fade and his head looked like a greasy bowl. He went into his bedroom and re-applied the grooming cream when he noticed something. He glanced at a framed picture of he and Ed flexing in next to Major Armstrong. He smiled at the fond memory. Hughes was wondering around with his camera and insisted that he get a picture of the two of them. It took a lot of convincing, but they stood far enough behind Alex that he wouldn't see them making fun of him. He remembered the look on the Major's face when he finally saw the photo.

_Click!_

"Oh, SHIT!" Havoc groaned aloud as he remembered that they had all just ditched Ed at the office. He slapped his forehead and raced out of the apartment. The tires of his military Studebaker squealed as he hurried back to the office.

Jean was blowing stop signs and speeding wherever he could. He even hopped the curb as he passed Central Command. Mustang's office was visible from the front. Much to Jean's dismay, the room was dark. He slammed the car in gear and headed towards the boy's dorm. The only person he found there was his little brother Alphonse.

"No, he hasn't been here since this morning. You could find him at Pappy's Diner; he always goes there after a day of paperwork. Be careful Lieutenant, Brother is always in a foul mood when he comes back."

_Of course he is. How many times has he been left out when we do something fun?_

Havoc reduced his speed as he did a drive by of the diner. He had to squint, but sure enough, he saw a blonde, pony-tailed head in one of the windows. He parallel parked and put some money in the meter. The door he walked through was behind the boy, so Ed didn't notice him walk in. Jean arched his neck and noticed that he had a pathetic bologna sandwich with a glass of water. The mere thought of the water-bologna combination almost made Jean gag. He swiped a menu off the counter and quietly sat across the booth from Ed. His face was deep in a book, and didn't even look up. Havoc was about to say something when Ed spoke from behind the tome.

"This booth is taken. Or maybe you didn't notice."

"Well chief, if you were planning to eat by yourself, you could have sat at the barstools over there."

Ed snapped his head up when he realized who intruded on his dining experience.

"Oh, it's you. What do you want?"

"I…I was wondering if you had plans tonight." Ed dog-eared the book and set it aside.

"Aren't you supposed to be drunk…or something? Are you drunk now?" Jean stifled a laugh.

"I could have gone, but drinking just to get drunk was getting old. So I came to see what you were up to."

Ed tapped his book and gestured at his plate. Havoc grimaced and called for a waitress. A rather attractive one stopped by and he gave her the best seductive look he could muster.

"Excuse me, miss. What's the special tonight?" She scoffed and placed a hand on her hip.

"Calling something here special would be an exaggeration. Right now burgers are half-priced."

"Sounds great; I'll take the 'Pappy's favorite.' What do you want kid?"

"Can only afford the sandwich." Jean and the waitress both frowned. She looked back at Jean and he held up two fingers. She nodded and walked away and yelled something to the cook that only they could understand.

Ed opened his book again and Jean watched his eyes scan the pages. He wondered why Ed came here every time something like this happened. He couldn't blame Ed for feeling left out, but he could do something else rather than mope and eat a soggy sandwich. He could catch a movie with some of his-

_That was it. The chief doesn't have any friends here._

It made perfect sense. He left people behind in Risembul. He may have befriended some folks along the road, but they were scattered all over the damn place. The only people he would know here were his brother and military personnel. Jean just wished someone would shoot him. He, along with everyone else in the office was officially the biggest douche bags EVER. He had to make this up to him. He couldn't very well take him to the bar, what with all the drunken people there. He wanted to go to the casino tonight, but there again, Ed's too young. What could he do?

While he was thinking, the waitress placed the two burgers on the table. Few things could distract Ed from his books, but a streaming plate of beef is one of those things.

"What's this?"

"Courtesy of the man across the way." She gave him a sweet smile and let them be. Ed gawked at the plate before him and almost drooled. He looked up and caught Havoc smirking at him.

"Oh…uh thanks, Havoc…"

"No problem, kiddo. Now eat that before I do."

People around the diner were a bit grossed out by how quickly the two of them ate, no, INHALED the food. Ed undid his belt and let his stomach out partially. Jean lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag. A pompous college student behind him tapped his shoulder, scowling.

"Do you mind? Maybe some of us don't want to smell that!"

"BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!" was Havoc's response. Water shot out of Ed's nose in laughter. The two of them felt that their welcome within the diner was ebbing away. Havoc paid their tab and they quickly left. As they walked to Jean's car, he grabbed the boy's neck in his strong arm and pretended to strangle him.

Ed found himself laughing despite himself. He expected to eat his gross-ass sandwich and go home to read. Now he was pretending that he was choking to death. Havoc eventually picked him up awkwardly and threw him in the car. When he got in the driver side, Ed's laughter was subsiding and he was wiping tears out of his eyes. Havoc smiled and put the Studebaker in gear. Without warning, the conversation died. Havoc decided to mess with the kid a little bit. He fake-yawned and put his head back.

"Hey Ed, I'm gonna close my eyes for a second. Watch the road, will ya?" Jean closed his right eye and left the other open, so he could see, but Ed didn't know that.

"ACK! Nononono, don't close your eyes! Open 'em! We're gonna crash!"

Havoc pretended to snap awake and he swerved across two lanes. As he did, he screamed. As a result, so did Edward. Being the exceptional driver that he was, Jean easily piloted the car through an alley and drifted perfectly into a parking space. He threw it into park and looked over at his co-pilot. His hair seemed to come out of its braid and was sticking up in some spots. His hand was on his heart as his panic attack ceased. Once it did, he stared wide-eyed at the driver.

"C'mon, Ed. Don't pretend that wasn't fun."

"It might have been fun…IF I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT!"

"Alright, I'll keep you informed. I gotta get some cigs." Ed looked out the window after Jean jumped out of the car and noticed that they were parked in front of a tobacco shop. He wondered if that was how he always got here.

While Ed waited in the car, he glanced around the car. Nicotine film was on every surface and there were a few burn holes in the driver seat. Ed played with some of the switches and pulled the visor down. There was a photograph stuck in it. He turned on the dome light so he could see it better. It was a picture of the two of them at the beach last year. He and Havoc had completely buried Fuery in the sand. He heard the bell on the door ring and he quickly snapped the visor back up. Jean had a grocery bag filled with cartons of cigarettes. He threw it in the back where it landed on various other things back there. Ed took a peek and saw a bunch of food and toiletries.

"What's all that?"

"Eh? Oh, I went shopping today…my apartment was pretty bare."

"It must have been, because you have, like, a ton of TP back there."

"Comes cheaper in bulk." _Click!_

Jean had a fantastic idea.

"This is the colonel's house?"

"Yezzir" Havoc answered fiendishly.

"Huh, it's nice. But what are we doing-HAVOC!" Ed's mouth was agape as he watched Jean hurl one of the rolls toilet paper over the roof of the house. He shoved some rolls in Ed's arms and whispered.

"It's going to rain tonight, if we cover the house it'll be a bitch for Roy to clean up."

Ed grinned more evilly than Jean had ever seen before. Roll after roll went on the roof and in the trees. The two men stepped back to observe their work. Both had their thumbs and forefingers on their chins in thought. Without looking at each other, they high-fived. Suddenly, the neighbor's flood light came on, and a loud voice shouted at them.

"Hey! What're you damn kids doing!"

"RUN!" Havoc screamed as they bolted for the car.

Roy stumbled home around midnight and went inside without even looking at the house.

The next morning, he walked out to get the paper more hung-over than he'd ever been. He waved at his neighbor who mumbled something about the damn kids.

Roy turned around and shrieked in horror.


End file.
